i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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