its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
