Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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