WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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