Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize