Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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