i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
