I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
