Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
