the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
