erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
