yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
