Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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