why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
