u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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