you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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