Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Randomize
