Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a musical about memes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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