I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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