How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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