I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize