Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
