i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
