it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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