that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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