For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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