ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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