Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
