Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
