I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
