What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
