I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
