So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
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We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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