Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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