well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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