i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
