glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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