how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
