I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
