He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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