If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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