Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
