I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
