I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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