I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
