Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
