just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
