I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
