I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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