Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
