We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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