Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
