Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my shit smells like andre
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
