I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
