I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
