you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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