drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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