my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.