My room smells like vodka and shame
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.