Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms