sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
