I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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