how can u be prego again
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
