..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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